Self-Decieved

I had a wonderful time in big bear. I was able to get to know the people I work with at epic and I was able to really evaluate where I am at Spiritually. I believe I was there for a reasona nd the day sthat I spent there were eye openers. I was able to bond with Mike from summit and Eric. I dont really know how but I was able to listen to part of their life stories. It just amazes me how much God works in their lives. I feel like I have been decieving myself all along. I have been growing but then somehow I stopped. But these guys are living their lives with such vitality and yet are still able to focus on God. I feel so empty inside. Honestly I didnt think much of Eric being all close to God. I didnt. I saw him as a goofball who everyone likes to hang out with. I never saw the spiritual side of him until recently when Percy invited me to their Biblestudy. I think that was pretty cool ho wthat happened. I randomly worked on a Tuesday... I NEVER work on Tuesdays but that one day I did... and so I was invited to go to their Biblestudy and thats where I kinda found out that I was wrong about eric. Slowly, I kinda now look up to him. HOw outgoing he is and how a goofball he is but still able to serve God. Im not putting a pedestal on him cuz I know, as a guy, we fall a lot. I just admire how he is such an extrovert. I have always wanted to be there. I am such an introvert. But Eric kinda showed me that its okay to act like a goofball sometimes... I still want to get to know him a little bit mroe cuz i think he is living such a great life and I want to live a life like that. Im not saying that my life sucks.. It doesnt. I like my life. But i know that if what he told me, I can live out, I will just that much more closer to God. He really challenged me. So did Mike. Friday night, I go to the cabin and take a shower. I try to have a quiet time but everyone was being loud upstairs so I go downstairs and read. Mike was sleeping down stairs and we started talking. He's a pretty cool guy. He too challenged me. I want to follow their footsteps. I have so many peopl ehave been speaking in my life and i dont want to be a person who just sits there an dnods their heads... I want to be a person of action... But something holds me back. Its so hard to fight it back and I havent done anythign yet. But i can feel it. I can feel a change going on and I kno wthat God can only fill that emptyness. God is going to work through me in such ways I wont even guess. Im excited. Im moving on. THank you God for putting people in my life such as eric and michael. They are such a blessing and I i want to be like them so that I can be a blessing to others as they have been to me.